After having a chat with a dear friend of mine yesterday. Some questions were posed and really the title of this post should be "The value of a Human ". Our family has done foster care for seven years. (rookies we are) My dear friend well in excess of 25 I am not sure of the exact number of years. They have done a wonderful work in the lives of so, so many children.
Foster care is what has opened our eyes to the fact that there are children in need. Before that we for whatever reason were just unaware. I knew there were bad ladies that could come take you from your home but that is all I knew. Foster care also opened our eyes to the many children out there with Special needs. Thus softening our hearts allowing God to lead us to our little ones with DS and off to Ethiopia where we will expand our family. :)
Anyway during this conversation with my friend we discussed as I do with many people during a discussion on International adoption, of course the cost. This is a question that very few seem to ask when you are adopting from the foster care system where there really is no cost. Nor do I remember really ever being asked when we adopted our two little ones through Domestic adoption. Where there certainly was cost involved. No not as much as with International adoption but certainly the process was not free.
However when it comes to International adoption cost is certainly at the front of the conversation field. The how's and whys are so often overlooked due to the fact that many are blinded by the yes very large cost associated with the International adoption.
The question was asked could better good be done with the amount of money being spent on the "International adoption"? If the money that would have been spent on the adoption were donated to the orphanage could more children be served. So basically this brings us to the question, Is there a dollar value to a child's life/freedom? Do we "cap" this value at any point? If so what is that point? Why do so many choose to go the International route when there are so many children in our own country that need homes? Why don't more people get involved in doing Foster care? Especially when it is said, someone correct me - is it 1% or 7% --- of all those who "claim" to be Christians would just adopt one child, we could clear the "Child in need of home" section of the paper! But again it brings us to the question Is there a value to one life? ..........................
I have posed that question " Is there a value to one life?" to all of my children. My 16year old daughter without hesitation answered, "obviously God believes a life is worth the death of his own son". Well said my Morgan.
I believe for those of us who feel they have truly been called by God to adopt be it through the Foster care system, Domestic or Internationally the barriers don't matter. The cost, the time, well when the child God ordained before the world began to be yours is in your arms. The labor pains however you got them all fade away.
Ever just expect your child to obey you without question just because you know. you know better than your child? Well don't you think God knows better then we? Sometimes logic must be tossed and Faith must take over. The decesion to adopt obviously lies between your family and the Lord. It should not be guided by the opinions of others. Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understandings.......................................
May Christ guide your steps today and every day.
Tiffany
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8 comments:
As a Christian, the scriptures teach me to care for the orphan. The scriptures also teach the value of family and of doing jutice for the opressed.
Certainly there are many ways to do this, and the good work of foster parenting is one of them. Donating money to an orphanage is another. And so is adopting children in need from other countries.
The scripture teaches me to "do unto others what I would want done to me." I think it is hard to argue that if you were an infant in Ethiopia (where the average life expectancy is 37) that you wouldn't want to be adopted into the love of a family. It is hard to imagine any child would not prefer family life to orphanage life.
As for why more people don't adopt from foster care, or foster parent, I think there are some hard realities about the foster system we have to take a look at there. Foster parenting simply isn't for everyone. Speaking for myself, I know the need for foster children to have permanent homes is great, however, they are American citizens, in homes, with all the resources this nation can provide. It is not the same plight as the orphanages and institutions where so many of the world's children wait.
Boston
We did not choose international adoption God chose it for us. To be honest we weren't even looking to adopt at the time God showed us our child. We completely stepped out in faith because we had no money at all to cover the cost of the adoption.
Our son is from a country that just doesn't understand that he has the same right to being happy as any other person. Our son who only has one arm would be living on the street someday and horrible things happen to him just because his perfect, beautiful body is different than the average person.
We even saw for ourselves how people in his birth country treated him when they noticed his difference and he was only 2 1/2 then.
I know without a doubt God wanted this child in our family because God cleared every roadblock there was. Another reason I know this is because he was chosen by God on the other side of the world but fits perfectly in our family and even has the same passions as my husband. He even has the exact same hair color as my husband.
I believe God calls Christians to care for ALL orphans and not just the ones next door or the next town. I personally don't care where God has our children waiting for us at. I need to be willing though to say yes when He asks.
As far as foster care rather than international adoption. International adoption is not "easy" or cheap but it was much less scary to me than the foster care system. We checked into the foster care system years ago and were told we basically we had no rights to discipline the children in our home and that the parents could be living next door to us.
I have a friend trying to adopt through the foster care system now and let me tell you that her international adoption was way easier than what they are being put through with the foster care system.
I'm not saying people shouldn't adopt through the foster program because they should. The foster care system needs some big changes though and that's what scares a lot of people including me. If God calls us to be foster parents though that is also fine with me.
Tiffany... I'm going to cheat and paste a post I had on my blog. The question was one from our Home Study followed by my response:
Do I feel that adopting a needy, homeless child is my moral duty? Do I see myself as a rescuer? Explain your answer. Well… I feel that we were led to this. I feel this is our calling at this point, but for me to say it was my moral duty would imply that I feel that all of us have the moral duty to go adopt a child. I feel we were called to this, but I do not feel that will be the case for everyone. I do believe that God has called us all to care for orphans, but the actual ‘call’ will be different for everyone. Some may be called to pray or advocate, some are called to give financially, some are called to be a part of the adoption process of others, some are called to adopt a child/ children, and others are called to serve the waiting children and provide for their daily needs. I do not see myself as a rescuer, but I do realize that there may not be another that is called to go for these particular children. I understand my failure to answer the call could very well leave them as orphans. I understand that these children will end up in a mental institution where they will remain until they die at most likely an early age. I am not a rescuer or a hero. I am a mother and I am a Christian. I can not accept the reality of what would become of these children due to my failure to act out of my own selfishness. It is this understanding that has moved me well outside my comfort zone to begin this adoption process.
As a foster mom, I have to agree with those who have said that the system needs changing. It does.
Honestly, I feel that it's very close-minded to feel that one set of children is more "deserving" than another. And I know most folks don't word it that way but I just feel that's the underlying tone. ALL children are deserving of a home no matter where they might happen to live. Instead of arguing about it I'd like to see us working towards improving adoption all around; domestic, international, and foster care. Because they do ALL deserve families.
What a beautiful post! We are adopting a precious little girl from Taiwan, so I have heard all the questions too. :)
I believe with all my heart that God has a unique plan for each child, and as we pursue adoption or foster parenting or helping in a children's village like Watoto in Africa, we must SEEK GOD FIRST to know His Will for that child. We actually began looking into adoption 2 years ago, and we began to pursue an adoption through American foster care, but God closed that door in a very direct way. We just stepped back and began to pray for each child that came to our attention (through adoption websites and such). We realized that we didn't know His Will for each child, but we could pray. After 18 months of praying for several children, God opened our eyes to one child He had chosen for our family. It was a direct call, BUT we would have never heard that call if we hadn't been seeking and praying. I believe that if we seek God first, He will guide us along the path that leads to the children we are to pray for and ones we are to adopt or foster or sponsor in some way. It doesn't matter whether He leads us to adopt or to be support families for those who adopt...or whether we adopt a child from foster care or internationally. What matters is Psalm 23...He is my Shepherd...He leads, I follow...no matter where the road may lead.
And as for the cost of international adoption, my response is always, "The cost of this adoption doesn't compare to the cost of my own adoption into God's family. Now THAT was an extraordinarily costly adoption." I say this gently because I think most people who inquire are simply not aware of many things we have grown to understand.
God bless your growing family!
AB, adopting from Taiwan
Tiffany....great post. We,too, have been asked why we chose international adoption over domestic or foster care adoptions. Our answer to that is that we opened our hearts to adoption and began praying about it and God led both of us to Ethiopia. We are stepping out on faith and although it is a scary thing to do, it is more scary to us to not do what we know God has asked of us. As far as the costs of international adoption, yes, it is very expensive but there is no way I could put a pricetag on the amount of love we already have for our little Ethiopian princess even though we have no idea what she looks like or even how old she will be. She is already loved more than words can express and that is worth far more to us an new cars or exotic vacations.
Some people are called to provide financially for orphans both in the United States and internationally, some are called to be foster parents and some are called adopt internationally. A calling is a calling no matter which of these categories you fit under and they are all important in God's Kingdom but the calling we received is for international adoption and we thank God every day for taking us on this journey.
Tiffany,
Great Post!! We also felt God calling us to adopt. He had a perfect plan for us. We prayed that God would guide us throughout the process and carry us when we were too weary to move forward! He has certainly done so thus far. We did a lot of research with domestic and international and we would pray that if it was not God's will that He would close the door! Sometimes...that was difficult to handle but most of the time we knew He had the perfect plan. I do have a huge heart for foster care children and the system. I continue to pray that He will show us what part we will play there. We will continue to follow His will and trust in Him to provide for us as we do! The cost has been great but HE has always provided for us. We are very blessed. I could never put a price tag on the blessings we have already received and will receive when we finally wrap our arms around our little one.
God Bless,
Tina
Wonderful post! My husband and I are weary from our journey with domestic adoption and have no idea what is in store for our family regarding adding more little blessings! You can add us to your prayer list as we try to figure out this mystery and become unified!
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